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My Resolution
At the start of 2006, I decided to embark upon something I had considered doing the previous year, but hadn't quite got the nerve to carry out. That is, to dedicate myself for the length of one year to the discipline of solo performance. Since the unexpected amount of group musical activity in Mongolia impacted on my ability to concentrate solely on solo work, I decided to extend the period of study by at least another year or so to last well into 2008.

I have long been interested in solo performance. I like the idea that there's nowhere to hide, musically or visually, for the soloist. Both their physical presence and their musical voice are there for all to see and hear. This is something you don't get even in duo playing, and certainly in larger group settings where there's always the opportunity to 'sit back' a little, or stop altogether. What I'm interested in exploring here is the relationship between the performer and the listener. I have therefore given this venture a title consisting of the magickal formula: 2 = 1 = 0, to describe the ideal performing/listening experience.

Two becomes One...
"Let us consider a piece of cheese.
We say that this has certain qualities: shape, structure, colour, solidity, weight, taste, smell, consistency and the rest;
but investigation has shown that this is all illusory.
Where are these qualities?
Not in the cheese, for different observers give quite different accounts of it.
Not in ourselves, for we do not perceive them in the absence of the cheese.
What then are these qualities of which we are so sure?
They would not exist without our brains; they would not exist without the cheese.
THey are the results of the union, that is of the Yoga, of the seer and the seen, of subject and object."
- from Yoga for Yahoos (Mahatma Guru Sri Paramahansa Shivaji)

Obviously we're not just talking about cheese here. I feel that this can be related quite directly to the concert situation. The performance is the cheese. The listener is the observer. The union of the listener and the performance creates a music that is truly unique for each member of the audience. This is the Two becomes One, 2 = 1.

None becomes One...
So much for the performance and the listener. Where does the performer appear in all this? The ideal performer is completely open to influence and able to completely transfer these influences onto their instrument. Where do these influences come from when there is no written score? Let's examine the following text:

"In the Carlos Castaneda boks, Don Juan makes a distinction between the tonal universe and the nagual. The tonal universe is the everyday cause-and-effect universe, which is predictable because it is pre-recorded. The nagual is the unknown, the unpredictable, the uncontrollable. For the nagual to gain access, a door of chance must open. There must be a random factor."
- William Burroughs speaking in 1989

I believe the performer opens this door of chance, and at that moment the performer becomes the door. If they can make themself open, the nagual can gain access and the performance begin in earnest. This doesn't always come at the beginning of the concert either. Sometimes the opening has to be found, fought for even. But when it comes, the conditions for the union of the listener and the performance to create music are just right. This is the None becomes One, 0 = 1.

One becomes None...
So how does the performer first open, and then become, the door to the nagual? There are as many ways as there are stars in the Heavens. What works for one will not necessarily work for another, and even a successful method for Opening can have a limited lifetime: "A spell that works today may be flat as yesterday's beer tomorrow" (William Burroughs, on the subject of reaching the nagual, 1989). It is the search for this openness that lies at the heart of all true music-making, even if musicians do not perhaps always fully realise it, or call it by another name.

"If thou hast T already, first get UT.
Then get O.
And so at last get OUT."
- taken from 23 Skidoo, Frater Perdurabo, Book of Lies

A possible path is presented by adapting the formula expressed in the riddle above. The performer, having attained maturity on their chosen instrument ("If thou hast T already,": T is the extended, manifest lingam, the "wand of light" in Sanskrit), unites with their Muse ("first get UT.": Ut is the holy guardian angel, the spiritual counterpart to the physical body), the union producing complete annihilation of both performer and Muse, thus opening The Door ("Then get O.": the Yoni, "divine passage/place of birth" in Sanskrit).